Abandon Hope All Ye Who Enter Here

In the Divine Comedy (La Divina Commedia, by Dante Alighieri, 14th Century), as Virgil and Dante arrive at the gate of Hell, Dante notes that it bears an inscription, "Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch'intrate", or "Abandon all hope, ye who enter here."  This inscription implies the horror and torment of total despair.  It suggests that upon entering Hell, all hope is lost.  So it is - or should I say can be - with SL.

Yes, SL can be fun and interesting.  SL has some amazing content to explore.  SL provides a platform for people from all over the world to communicate, create, and roleplay.  The problem with SL is that it's insidiously seductive.  It sucks you in by feeding into your fantasies, needs, or fetishes.  The environments, situations, and games we create in SL can mesmerize us into a false sense of reality if there is an emotional, social, or psychological need that one thinks is being met by these SL experiences.  Whether or not these needs are appropriate or moral is certainly questionable and I will discuss them in greater detail in another blog post.  Suffice to say that the sad fact is that what you do and how you conduct yourself in SL can destroy your real life if you let it.  Don't let it.  If you're unhappy, dissatisfied, or whatever - address your problems, confront your demons.  Correct what's wrong in your real life by taking appropriate action and not hurting your loved ones or yourself.  Get help.  Remember who and what is truly important in your life.  Remember who you really are.  Don't buy into a hopeless fantasy that can ultimately destroy you and your loved ones.  The answers are not found by escaping into SL.  The answers to your problems are found by actively pursuing solutions to improve your real life.

Take SL for what it is... a temporary amusement.  Don't get involved in "relationships" that can devastate a real life.  Heed the warnings in this series (four parts):  Virtual Adultery and Cyberspace Love

More on SL and gaming addictions can be found in my February 19th blog here:  Gah!

I'm driven to blog about this issue because it is a very real concern that has affected the lives of people I know and/or care about.  If you know someone who seems to have a problem with online/sex addiction, please, PLEASE try to help them.  It's terribly painful to watch someone you care about degenerate and not be able to help them.  So first I posted things to my SL profile...and I blog now... and hope that they read what I've written.

A little levity based on truth...  Sarcastic Gamer

If you are interested in reading the Divine Comedy, an epic poem which can be described as a complex allegory that includes a variety of themes, it is available online at:  The Divine Comedy at the Electronic Literature Foundation.

Gah!

Three nights back in SecondLife (SL) and I'm once again baffled as to WHY people insist on SLexing and/or engaging in SL relationships that may or may not extend to real life (RL). I'm especially astounded by the number of seemingly average looking or even attractive people who spend their time pursuing "love" or "sex" in SL when they should and could be out having RL love or sexual relationships. What's up with that? When I was single I was never lonely for companionship. Granted, I was uber hot, but still :D Don't people go out anymore? Don't people meet other people just being wherever they happen to be? And what's with the married guys with small children who practice serial cheating with single women who should be out in RL with single guys? What the hell is wrong with these girls? Why do these women degrade themselves by SLexing via text/voice and showing photos of themselves doing "stuff" or even camming for these guys???!!! And...What's with the people who actually encourage married men or women with families to pop on pose balls with every avi in SL and/or develop a "relationship" with them? I don't care what problems you have in your marriage, do something about it. Either fix the relationship or get out of it. Divorce is legal. If your religious or cultural beliefs don't permit you to divorce, then work on your marriage and try to correct the problems. Where are people's morals??? Yes, people fall in love. It happens. And I'm talking REAL love, not delusional infatuation or wishful fantasy obsession. Sadly, these latter types are the most prevalent in SL, from what I've seen. Regardless...If you do fall in love in SL, chances are it's not going to work out if one or both of you is married or has a family. And when it falls apart - because it has to unless both of you handle it appropriately - the repercussions will be hell. Wise up, people.

And! What on earth is up with the avi Facebook pages?? I mean really? Really??? Do these adults not see how silly that is? Maybe these people are just really juvenile, or maybe they're just deeply disturbed and need psychiatric help. Maybe it's both. One thing's certain...There is something very, very wrong with them.

Below, I've shared some thoughts that were once posted in my SL profile. At the time, I was on a mission to try to smack some sense into anyone who happened upon my profile or intentionally looked at it. There were people who actually told me reading it helped them. I'm glad if it did. Also included here are links to pages on
gaming addictions (most specific to SL) because there are some very profound comments posted to them that demonstrate how "virtual" relationships/sex addictions can impact people's lives.

Bottom line: Respect and don't hurt others. Respect and don't hurt yourself. Have some decency.

The following have been abstracted from the old profile:

• Engage in real relationships, real sex, real love, and real life.
• If you're spending more time here than with your RL family and friends, you have a serious problem. Log out and live your RL--before you lose it.
• As in RL, you never know the impact you might have on someone. Good or bad. Please do your best to make it good.
• Again, as in RL, some here will tell you what you want to hear to deceive you for their own selfish aims. Don't let a fantasy or an illusion possess, consume, or deceive you. Don't delude yourself or fool others... It only results in heartache and pain.
• Beware of the self-absorbed attention whores here who only seek you out for their own self interests. They collect people. It's what makes them feel valid--because in their real lives they have no power, no control, no love, no nothing. SL is the only place they think they have power or control. They're LOSERS in RL and don't care who they hurt in pursuing their "fantasies" or their "game" here. They do NOT care about you.
• SL may be a place where anything is possible, but that shouldn't be at the expense of another person. Be nice, have fun. But any fun that hurts another person or you isn't the right kind of fun. What does that mean? Don't f*ck with people's emotions. Don't f*ck with people's heads. Don't f*ck with people's hearts. Don't "f*ck" or f*ck with people just because you want to feel good about yourself. Don't f*ck with people just because YOU want to have "fun".

Abstracted from my current profile because it's necessary to state, unfortunately:

• NOT interested in your pixel prowess, an OOC/IC relationship, your RL, or your avi's(!?) Facebook. Fun and  RP sex with an RP purpose is fine, but don't use it as an excuse for sex/porn. If you do, then you really need to get out more.
• NO tolerance for assholes who are here only for sex and/or to practice serial cheating on their spouses/SOs with other pathetic assholes. Get your head out of your ass and fix your RL.

Links (as discussed above):

http://hubpages.com/hub/SecondLife-addiction
http://www.olganon.org/?q=node/14708
http://drickenbacker.wordpress.com/2009/06/22/the-slunkie-factor-part-i-getting-hooked/
http://www.emotionalwellbeingblog.com/2007/08/is-second-life-ultimate-cyber-addiction.html
http://nwn.blogs.com/nwn/2009/07/rickenbacker-addiction.html